Sunday, March 4, 2012

Silence

It's been ages since I wrote.
Here or anywhere else.

I kept thinking I'd lost my mojo. But that's not the true reason. I've either been too happy, or too busy, or at times too sad.
But things have changed since the beginning of this year. Over the past two months, I've realized, its not a case of 'too much's.
I'm being hollowed out. Slowly, but surely. With every failure, every lie told, ever time I've had to fight for something I want, every time I've had to hide the things that I want, I've lost a piece of me in the process.
It's like a bad case of termites, eating the wood from the inside, till there's nothing left but outside appearances.

That's what's happening, the wooden box in my chest is being eroded from the inside.
I've lost friends, damaged relationships irreparably with the people that matter the most, let go of passions that I've clung to for so long.
IT's not just about bad judgment, or bad decisions.
I'm tired of trying.

When I used to sit in a quiet room, I could swear I could hear the thoughts in my head, there were so many of them.
Now, all I hear is silence.
The sound of the hollow, termite-ridden wooden box in my chest.

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